Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Mad Avenue Blues

David McWilliams picked me up no fucking end today. He's off gadding about on his next Breakfast Roll Decklander juggernaut of clichés-in-waiting, but he could still find the time to twinkle piss on the green shoots of my positivity. Thank fuck for the 140 character limit to Twitter or else I might've really got the thrust of what EconosseurMan meant. See what the fuck I just did there? Maybe we can ALL become Phraseologists of Doom™ and make a nice packet faffing around the globe with a film crew and a group pass for the local youth hostel and an amazing almanac of allegorical alliteration. The Moral of the Mayan Meltdown?Where does his indefatigable energy come from? Can NOBODY downsize me of this meddlesome monarch of monetary mooning?

Here, I didn't even mean to vent my spleen on him. Sorry David. Nothing personal, ya gent. :) You just didn't help today. I lost my iPhone contacts too, which helped a whole lot less. But anyway. I digress yet again. There is positivity everywhere. Just not here this week. And ok, we have mountains to climb. But that's what mountains are for.

And seeing as you're already down, here's a nine minute twenty one second wonder that's funny, then eight minutes too long. You don't have to watch it all. But that doesn't mean it won't come up on the exam paper, shitheads.*

* Yes I do have an irrational mind picture of me facing two grey-suited interviewers as they pore intently over a very long list of the bad language that I have liberated into the swearyverse. And yes I do know that I won't be feeling so darn funny if it ever happens. But let me tell you now from the comfort and privacy of my own blog, those two grey-suited gentlemen are nothing but motherfuckers, from a long line of similar.

POSTSCRIPT: The interweb has exacted its revenge, and within five hours. That nice man McWilliams tweeted me and was nothing but gracious and now I feel bad for tirading on his ass. But with a small adjustment I shall let my words stand, as a testament to my own rash fucking mouth. Er, fingers. Mind. Whatever. Oh fuck off.

1 comment:

  1. OH I think he will pour himself a big glass of smug and get over it Nick.
    And the video is excellent, all the way through. I love the smell of evolution in the morning!